Civil Celebrants and Civil Ceremonies – by Lisa Blackmore, Civil Marriage Celebrant

Congratulations on your engagement! Now you start to plan the “perfect” wedding. You will buy loads of bridal magazines, start searching all the wedding websites on the internet and put together ideas (often in a massive wedding folder) for the “big day”.

One of the first decisions you will make is how are we going to get married? Do we get married in a church or have a civil ceremony? Currently, over 65% of weddings in Australia are conducted by Civil Celebrants. Many couples like the freedom of a civil ceremony, as it can be held literally anywhere. In formal gardens, on a beach, in a hot-air balloon, a favourite restaurant, on surfboards in the ocean – the options are endless!

Civil celebrants are appointed by the Federal Attorney-General, and that department issues a Code of Practice which all celebrants must abide by. All new celebrants are professionally trained, and there is a strict selection process.

You might contact a few celebrants to find one that is right for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, or to meet a few celebrants face to face before deciding to book someone. Remember, you don’t get a second chance or re-run with your wedding ceremony. You can’t go back and re-create that special moment or feeling, so it is important that you choose a celebrant that you feel is right for you. Remember different people suit different celebrants.

Try to book your celebrant as soon as you have set your wedding date. Some couples leave booking their celebrant until a few months out from the wedding and are disappointed to find that the celebrant they really wanted is already booked.

A Notice of Intended Marriage Form must be lodged with a celebrant no sooner than 18 months before and no later than one month and one day prior to your wedding day. I must also sight your original birth certificates and any divorce proceedings if that applies to you.

With the formal paperwork started, our next step is to start creating your ceremony and the most important advice I give to couples is - Make it your own!

When you are planning your wedding, you try on countless wedding dresses until you get one that suits you perfectly, a reception venue, cake, entertainment that matches your style and personality. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be any different.

Your ceremony should reflect you as a couple. One of the most powerful and unforgettable moments on your wedding day is when you stand facing one another and make your vows. You are making a public commitment in front of all of your family and friends. This is an incredibly special moment that should reflect who you are, where you have come from, what love means to both of you and your future together. It should be a celebration of you as a couple. I encourage my couples to incorporate personality and even humour into their ceremonies to make it all about them.

An example of humour in a ceremony -
Kylie, will you take Jason to be your husband? Will you encourage him to always follow his dreams and every-so-often gently remind him of his commitment to you? Will you stand by his side even in his most stubborn moments and will you try your best not to outdo him in any football tipping competition? Will you humour him with smiles of encouragement and will you promise to respect his need to change his favourite band every two weeks?

Your family and friends who are witnessing the wedding really appreciate the personal parts. They love it. They feel like they are a part of the ceremony. The ceremony needs to connect with the couple – otherwise it is just words.

Starting to plan your ceremony -
Think about other wedding ceremonies you have seen. What did you like or not like about them?
Do you want to include other people in your ceremony, perhaps by asking them to do a reading or poem? Do you have children that you would like to take part?
Are there any special rituals you would like in your ceremony - maybe you would like to release butterflies or have guests participate in a “ring warming”?
How do you imagine your wedding ceremony to look like?
What kind of atmosphere do you want to create?
How do you want to feel during the ceremony?
Some couples don’t like the idea of readings. They feel they are too old fashioned. Don’t forget that spoken song lyrics make great readings too.

I don’t believe that your ceremony should be the same as the last couple I married with just the names “cut and pasted”. It should be about you. I don’t just encourage you to write your own vows or choose the readings. With my help you will create your own unique ceremony.

I know how important it is to you that your wedding day is “perfect”, so I do everything I can to make sure that with your ceremony, you are off to a good start!

I really hope that when planning your wedding, you feel inspired to create a ceremony that is heartfelt, unique, and most importantly, yours!

Based in Queensland, Lisa Blackmore is a vibrant young celebrant with her own unique style.
Her passion is to work with couples to create a distinctive wedding ceremony that captures their personalities, style and their journey together. She is committed to creating a ceremony that is right for you.

She would be delighted to be a part of your special day. For more information, please visit her website: www.i-doweddings.com.au.

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